What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops