Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

69

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

I have read and agreed to the terms of service

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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