mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

Take part of what?

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

Dwight Howard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...