Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops