What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops