How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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