Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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