Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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