Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops