How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops