An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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