- Anti Joke

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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