Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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someone called someone else a frog

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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