Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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one stop shop

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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