What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

thumb_up thumb_down -7

4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are blue they really are

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops