Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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A van drives into a car.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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Poker face

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops