How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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