So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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