- Anti Joke

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.