What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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