What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

Massie is a fatass

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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