What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Burp

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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pudding

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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