What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

poopy is poopy

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

ask me if i am a tree. no.

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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