- Anti Joke

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

Knock knock, COME IN!

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops