A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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poopy is poopy

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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