Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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The Big Band Theory

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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