Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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