How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Ily bae

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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