What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

And you honored it I see :P

Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

What's brown and sticky? My ass.

What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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