Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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