how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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