Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops