(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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