Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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when debbie meets downer

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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