Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats black and strange a paki

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops