What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Tall asians

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops