What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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RUN

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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Jovan

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Fat people

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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