There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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