What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +20

haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops