Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops