Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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