Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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who else is on here?

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops