What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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knock knock go away

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops