Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have a really funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops