What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

Killing your friend as a joke.

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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