Happy Monday!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops