You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops