An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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blubber vaginass CC

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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