What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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potato

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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87

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P0P T4Rt

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CHEEZECAKE

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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I love you very much.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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