Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

Why are african american people better than caucasian people at sports like basketball? Because african american people have more high-twitch muscle fibers. Which allow them to perform Explosion type movements better than caucasian people.

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

Baaaaaaahhhhhh

I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

CHEEZECAKE

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

An Amish walks into Best Buy

Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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