There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

I love you very much.

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

The government makes a good decision

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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