Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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ASSCHEEKS

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Child Prostitution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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