You're on fire.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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penis

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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69

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops