What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

thumb_up thumb_down +41

69

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +39

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock knock you may come in

thumb_up thumb_down +29

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops