What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

CHEEZECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

thumb_up thumb_down -46

An Amish walks into Best Buy

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

thumb_up thumb_down -128

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops