Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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ha do call a by with red heir a freckles? ginger

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Robin, get in the car.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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