A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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William Raines.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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I like jokes.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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I love you very much.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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