What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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salad days!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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you give like i give lomain

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops