Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops