How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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The cream, it is coming

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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