What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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24

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops