Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops