No soup for you!

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops