What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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