Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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