Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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