I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Hey

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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