Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops