Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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