What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

kieran is a homosexual

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

Whats cold and frozen? ice

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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