Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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