Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops