A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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