Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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