A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

have you ever had african food? neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops