Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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A pope meets another one

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops