It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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one stop shop

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Your Mom

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops