Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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9/11

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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time to spruce up!

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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