How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops