how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Small Penis.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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