What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

bite me

Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

pobody's nerfect

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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