Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

What's long and black? A long and black object.

How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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