how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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hi mom

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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