Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

What's blue? The sky.

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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