HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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