A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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96

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops