Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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