What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Your girlfriend.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops