A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops