Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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girls basketball

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops