A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops