What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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An anti-joke

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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