Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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