Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Face Hunter is scum

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops