Flowers are colors Love me

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Who wants water? I do.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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don't just stand there

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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