Q: What's the hardest part about throwing a baby down the stairs? A: My dick.

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

I'm Batman.

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.