What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A bar walks into a man

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops