Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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your mom.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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