How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Soccer...

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Take part of what?

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops