I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...