why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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