Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

thumb_up thumb_down -10

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops