Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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