What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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