What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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THe Election

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops