What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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don't just stand there

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Racial equality.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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knock knock come in

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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