* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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