Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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