Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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like most people my age. im 27

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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