What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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