What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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