Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Where's the soap?

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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