"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops