what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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