Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops