How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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