What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

thumb_up thumb_down

i wonder who made this website? a human

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

thumb_up thumb_down

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops