Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

alert("Hello");

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +16

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops