ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +15

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops