Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

A guy walks into a bar

A man walks into a sofa. BANG

1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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