Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops