Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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TOP KEK

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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