How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Women's rights.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops