What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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