Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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