why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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