Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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the WNBA.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops