A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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one stop shop

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops