Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

kkkk

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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