Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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