One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a man was shot.... he died

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops