I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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