Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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What fires shots? A gun

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Obama = ebola

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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