Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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