Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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whats black and strange a paki

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Your mom is so old she died

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops