If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

boner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops