Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why didn't he finish his

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What's one plus one? two.

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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