why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

thumb_up thumb_down -11

2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops