What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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