Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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kkkk

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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