Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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