Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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