What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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knock knock go away

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops