Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops