Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops