Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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A shark ate your mom

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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well use a tissue!

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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