Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Jovan

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops