I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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someone called someone else a frog

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Large 4

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Your're racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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