What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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