Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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