When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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