what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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