What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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