why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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Chlamydia

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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