What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Yanter, Look it up

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Women's rights.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops