How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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