There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What if I told you.....potatoe

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops