Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

so today i took a poop. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops