Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops