Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops