Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

kennah campion when she talks

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

Small Penis.

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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