whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

I agree to the terms and conditions

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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