Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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Knock Knock.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops