Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Wanna hear a joke? Ruddell had sex.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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