What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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