Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

69.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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