What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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