What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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