Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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well use a tissue!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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