Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +26

1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Everybody love food when they are hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +26

one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops