Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops