Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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karn chevalier

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops