A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops