- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Sixty... eight

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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