what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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