knock knock who`s there me oh come in

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops