The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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I'm tired.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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A Mormon walks into a bar

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops