Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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stinky boner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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