Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What is older than history?

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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The FCC

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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