Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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how do you win a game try your best

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Take part of what?

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops