What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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