Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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I don't get it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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