Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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