Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops