How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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