In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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