How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Q: What do you call an anti-joke? A: An anti-joke

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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