What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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So a seal walks into a club...

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Kenny G

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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