Why did the woman die Because she was old

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

That's unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

CHEEZECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops