- Anti Joke

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

P0P T4Rt

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

There once was a cheerio. To protect the names of the innocent, we'll call him mike. Mike the cheerio is just a plain cheerio. Mike was walking down the street one day. He was feeling good. He had his headphones on and was enjoying a stroll. All of a sudden, he turns to see a beautiful honey-nut cheerio behind the counter of the store he was walking by. He thought to himself "Man, she's gorgeous. Maybe ill go ask her out." But then he remembers that he is just a regular cheerio. He then goes home. So he starts getting ready to go to bed. Mike then looks at his reflection and sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. Mike wakes up the next day. He realizes that he's become an apple jack cheerio! Mike then goes to work feeling great. Life is looking up. On his way home from work he even asks the honey-nut cheerio out on a date. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. Then he sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a honey-nut cheerio! Mike then goes to work, comes home, and gets ready for his date. The date goes great and they end up dating for two years. Mike then decides to propose to his girlfriend. He decides that he needs to ask her father for his blessing first though. The father had to work late that night so mike decided to just ask him the next day. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. He then sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a regular cheerio! Then he remembers that he was supposed to ask his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. Mike is scared that he may now say no. He decides to go for it anyway. Confused, he looks at Mike and says "A regular cheerio, marrying my daughter? I don't thinks so." Mike and his girlfriend break-up because of this. Mike feels really distraught over the whole set set of events. He goes to the bar to get really drunk. Mike sees one of his friends at the bar. He tells the friend his story. The friend tells Mike that he needs to go get his mind off of it. He then offers Mike to go to a new club. Mike accepts and they go off to the club. Mike sees so many hot cheerios out on the dance floor. He goes and starts dancing. He dances so much that he starts getting really thirsty. He looks around but can't find anything to drink, so he decides to keep dancing. His thirst really starts to get to him and he starts to really need a drink, He looks around and still can't find somewhere to get a drink. Then he thinks "Wait what kind of drink do people have at a party? Punch! So he looks through the entire place, but there was no punchline...

There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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