A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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