How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops