A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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