- Anti Joke

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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