Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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