What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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