Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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A bar walks into a man

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops