who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

thumb_up thumb_down +16

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the fish fly It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops