What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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