Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's your blood type? Red.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Beka has AIDS

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops