Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops