A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's the difference between Osama's death and Paris Hilton's bra? A: One is Osama's death and the other is Paris Hilton's bra.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down -4

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops