How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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