My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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