What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

A man was shot. He died.

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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