We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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