What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

Neither have I

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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