When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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