Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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kathryn atkins

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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