Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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The Labour Party.

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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You are joking right?

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops