Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

Should a pole bump an alarm?

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

why did the chicken cross the rode?????? i dont know because he felt like it???????????p.s.i actually dont know why he crossed the rode so go ask the next who makes a joke about a chicken crossing a rode?

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...