How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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