rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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