How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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