What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Dwight Howard

thumb_up thumb_down -15

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If the 49ers won the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Sarah Palin's political campaign

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops