What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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