What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Whats two plus two Four!

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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