What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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