Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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