Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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