An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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