i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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