Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

HEY!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

thumb_up thumb_down -20

your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops