How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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