Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops