What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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call me maybe.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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Long joke Your such a downey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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