What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Link ate ink to make him sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The cream, it is coming

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats long and black? a baton

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops