whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops