How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats 1+1? The answer!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -35

- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops