why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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