#IHateHashtags

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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