A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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