How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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