what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What has two legs? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops