Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

Roses are red.

Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

AND

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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