What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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