What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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the economy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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