What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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What is 9+10? 19

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops