What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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kkkk

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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