Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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