Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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