Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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