how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Ehh

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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