What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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