Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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derp

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops