what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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