Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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