What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops