Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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A black man killed someone

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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