Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

Is Carly smart? No.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

chuck norris is a little b|tch

Why did the woman die Because she was old

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

how do you stop a train? you cant..

Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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