What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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P0P T4Rt

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87

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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