what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

chuck norris is a little b|tch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +60

62

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The government makes a good decision

thumb_up thumb_down +48

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops