I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

1+1= 69

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

why did the chicken cross the road

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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