what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

69...you know how awkward this is now...

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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