Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Oh, go away

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops