what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops