roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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woman's lacrosse

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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