What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Chlamydia

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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