Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops