Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a gay guy? kevin

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

every knight i see an owl at window

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops