Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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