What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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This is not a joke.... It is mind rape.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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