There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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