What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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I asked her where you were.

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Tilt your screen back .

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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What is the gay guy thinking about? Penis

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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