Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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VITAMIN C!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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