What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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