Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops