A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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