What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops