Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops