what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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96

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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