- Anti Joke

What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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