An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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A van drives into a car.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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