In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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