Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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