- Anti Joke

Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops