One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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