Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops