Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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