Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What comes after Friday? A ?.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -16

WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops