Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

Once upon a time a was born

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...