Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what's inflation? a hollow cost.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Racial Equality

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

no.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops