Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Daniel is a fag

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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