Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Trump will make America great again.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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sky silverstein

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops