What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops