Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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