Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops