How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops