A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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69

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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