How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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