Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Your mom is so old she died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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