Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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