Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I will create more jobs for americans

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

b

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats cold and frozen? ice

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops