How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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penis. nuff said.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Golf.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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name 3 fruit begining with n a napple, a norange, and a nannana

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why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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