What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops