One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

poopy is poopy

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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