Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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