Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops