Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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