on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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