why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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