- Anti Joke

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

You should read the Terms of Service.

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

Your mom is so fat she's overweight

Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

roses are red violets are blue they really are

Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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