Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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