Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

thumb_up thumb_down -37

were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops