What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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TIMMY

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops