Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops