A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Knock knock.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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