An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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