A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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