mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock whos there open open who the door

thumb_up thumb_down -6

WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops