How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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matt is fat

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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if got a joke if fogot it

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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deez nuts

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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