Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops