Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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