There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Lololol

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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Your face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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