An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops