He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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The WNBA.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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knock knock go away

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Women's rights

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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You.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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