What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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balls in ya mouf

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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P0P T4Rt

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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87

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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