what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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