How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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what are you mike bibby?

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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And you honored it I see :P

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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