In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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The Colts this year.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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