In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops