why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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