what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops