Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops