How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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autsim

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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