whats white and sticky? a white stick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what came first the chicken or the chips

thumb_up thumb_down -9

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops