How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops