Roses are red.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Yellow People !!

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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