How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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