Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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My spelling is horrible

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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