nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

thumb_up thumb_down -1

thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops