Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops