What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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