What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Whats 1+1? window!

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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