- Anti Joke

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

Blacks

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.