Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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And you honored it I see :P

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hers a joke... japanese people

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops