Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

No soup for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops