Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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GOODBYE

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops