What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

Jack Stevens

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

What is the difference?

What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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