Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops