Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +33

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops