A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops